Wednesday, December 22, 2010

God Working

I've been struggling a lot lately with joy and contentment, in church especially, but in all areas of my life-with finances, with time, with schedules, etc. I've also been struggling with it in terms of relationships, in which to invest more time in, in evaluating where I'm at in friendships and what my heart's motive is in them, and I'm realizing that I am extremely (almost to an unhealthy extent) inward motivated to just the comfortable realtionships I have with others and not driven to meet new people or engage with new people because it makes me uncomfortable.

I met with an amazing young woman this morning who shared her testimony with me, and the ins and outs of what it's been like to find God, lose Him (or so she thought), seek Him, and find Him again, and harder than ever this time. It was amazing to hear the path He led her on to really thirst and truly find Him. It was encouraging to say the least. 

I was and am excited to hear how she has now begun helping other young women her age-she makes it a point to invest in them and to listen to these women and encourage them. She's also made it a point to get involved in her church and in future church plants, and emphasized what it's like to break out of the four walls of her church and submerse herself in community and in others beyond just sitting in front of a pulpit. 

This has been a theme laying gently on my heart lately: breaking out of the walls of church and getting the Gospel out into the community. I was shocked today to hear of how many athiests this young woman has talked to, and their saddened about their view on Christians in general. But even more, I was saddened that all of my {free?} time has been spent surrounded with friendships within the church and none outside of church. I have a few friendships still with ladies from Curves and such, but overall, my friendships and relationships are all with people from the church, and I know that I am not making an effort to love on these people. 

I feel like lately God has been laying it on my heart to break beyond (not out of, but beyond) these relationships and seek to serve Him in the community. I feel like He's challenging me to get out of my comfort zone and away from comfortable relationships to the more uncomfortable. This comes back again to the quote my friend recently said about how she, "...wants to be the woman that befriends a girl who is pregnant out of wed-lock and give her hope...wants to be the girl that's there for the other girls who is caught up in drugs and befriend her..." 

After talking with my accountability group about prayer requests a couple of weeks ago, and asking them to pray for ways that I can see God working in this-meaning I only know He's laying it on my heart to get out into the community or serve somehow outside my tight little comfort zone-I can already begin to say that I think He's leading me to possibly engage in discipling or somehow work with young woman. I don't know if that means be a youth group leader again, if that means start a weekly something-or-other with Grace Baptist college girls, if that means volunteer at the Life Choice Ministry Pregnancy and Testing center or to open my home once a month to college girls...but what I am noticing is that I have a heart for young woman in high school and college, and have realized this is not the first time that I've felt this tug at my heart to work with them in some capacity. 

What I do know is that I was blessed to get to share a morning with an amazing woman who has really let the Lord do a good work in her, and has greatly encouraged me today, and helped me to understand a bit more of where God might be leading me in serving either outside my comfort zone at church, or serving outside the walls of my church and into the community. 

Lord, I don't know where You're leading me, but I will follow. I don't know what You're working, but I'm feeling You guiding me. I don't know how You'll use me, but am excited for the journey of serving You. And in that I find joy. Please continue to guide my heart toward Yours. Amen.

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