Life

Wow. It's been a while since I last wrote on the blog. We've been celebrating graduations and special events, having dinner with friends and attending receptions for the grads. It's been a busy couple of weeks. Fun and activity...going through the events of life...but while celebrating our life moments, I've forgotten to celebrate and praise the One who has granted us those life moments. 

 

So I come. ...More like come back. Back, humbly, to the cross. 

 

I've been going through the motions lately, and doing it all in my own time, at my own pace, when I felt like it. But I'm learning that I'm really missing out on Him. So, I'm trying to get back to Him, and I know that it's not something I can do quickly or instantly, or force, but it'll take time, discipline and much, much of the Word and prayer.

 

So where do I begin? Psalm 139. I watched a video on it today and it hit me that regardless of where I've been these last few weeks, or the lack of time I spent with Him, that He welcomes me back and that just as I am ready to Be Still, He is ready to continue leading, teaching, shaping, molding me into His image. When I listened to that psalm again today, I was moved by the Spirit. It was as if He was looking me in the eye, lifting up my chin to look Him back in the eye from my shameful position, and say, "I know. I'm still here. I'm not surprised that you've been preoccupied/gone/checked out/etc., I know those thoughts, I know everything about you, and I'm still here, and I still love you."

 

After watching the video I decided to go lay Isaac down for his nap and to spend some time in devotion and to reflect on who I am, and whose I am. I looked at the clock to see what time it was to know what time I layed him down. The clock read 1:39.

 

Thank You, Lord, for knowing me. For loving me. For leading me. For teaching me. For waiting for me. For not giving up on me. For guiding me. For finding me. And for the fact that I can rest in Your presence and lay my burdens at Your feet.

 

 

I looked up Psalm 139 in the version of The Message, and it sums it up quite well:

Psalm 139

A David Psalm

^1-6 God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. 

I'm an open book to you; 

even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking. 

You know when I leave and when I get back; 

I'm never out of your sight. 

You know everything I'm going to say 

before I start the first sentence. 

I look behind me and you're there, 

then up ahead and you're there, too— 

your reassuring presence, coming and going. 

This is too much, too wonderful— 

I can't take it all in! 

^7-12 Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? 

to be out of your sight? 

If I climb to the sky, you're there! 

If I go underground, you're there! 

If I flew on morning's wings 

to the far western horizon, 

You'd find me in a minute— 

you're already there waiting! 

Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark! 

At night I'm immersed in the light!" 

It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you; 

night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you. 

^13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; 

you formed me in my mother's womb. 

I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! 

Body and soul, I am marvelously made! 

I worship in adoration—what a creation! 

You know me inside and out, 

you know every bone in my body; 

You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, 

how I was sculpted from nothing into something. 

Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; 

all the stages of my life were spread out before you, 

The days of my life all prepared 

before I'd even lived one day. 

^17-22 Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful! 

God, I'll never comprehend them! 

I couldn't even begin to count them— 

any more than I could count the sand of the sea. 

Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you! 

And please, God, do away with wickedness for good! 

And you murderers—out of here!— 

all the men and women who belittle you, God, 

infatuated with cheap god-imitations. 

See how I hate those who hate you, God, 

see how I loathe all this godless arrogance; 

I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred. 

Your enemies are my enemies! 

^23-24 Investigate my life, O God, 

find out everything about me; 

Cross-examine and test me, 

get a clear picture of what I'm about; 

See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong— 

then guide me on the road to eternal life.